Another Heart Broken
Posted: Thu Sep 07, 2006 12:20 pm
I fell in love with a Thai lady 10 months ago. She worked freelance in Samui, but business was slow so she came up to Pattaya with a friend. Met her first night she was there in Lucifer's Disco. Within three days we seemed seriously in love with each other. Within nine months I had returned to Thailand four times to spend time with her and get to know her better. The third time I proposed to her while overlooking Phuket from a lovely restaurant. She was 31. I was 44.
She had lived with a Thai man for seven years initially and had a son with him. She loved the Thai Man him very much but he left her and the son to go live with richer woman. The Thai Man never took good care of her, but still she was devastated by the loss. She went to work in Samui based on her mother's recommendation to find good Farang.
In Samui, she met an Austrian man who after 1 year married her but then left her also. She worked for two more years. Then I met her.
I took incredibly good care of her and her family. I loved her like she had never been loved before.
We took the most romantic together. I came back for her birthday and made a party for her whole family. I came back for Valentine’s Day and wined and dined her first class. I spent Songkran with her in the best way in Chiang Mai. We snorkeled off Pi Pi and I herded cows with her father on their farm near Korat.
I bought two copies of Thai Fever, one for her and one for me, and we read through it and discussed together all the time. Her English was quite good. We seemed to have such great communication together. She was my whole world now and I was loving it.
Her 11-year old son called me Pappa and I loved him also. I always had wanted a son, and I had a daughter from a previous marriage and she wanted a daughter. What a fit. She called me her Sami all the time and she was my devoted Palaya.
I gave many *very* generous gifts to her parents. The marriage wasn’t formalized or official yet, but it felt that way to all of us. We discussed Visa to my country, USA. We discussed having another child together. We wanted to eventually build a house near Chiang Mai. I was so unbelievably happy.
Then she started getting nervous she could not make me happy. One day she made something for me to eat in her poor home and I was hesitant to eat it because I wasn’t sure what it was, and she became very upset. She started showing me a lot of insecurities. I tried reassuring her but it didn’t help.
On my fourth trip I was very tired from the travel and I didn’t feel so well. I was a little cranky. This made her very upset also. She took it very personally. She couldn’t seem to keep it in perspective. She said she was reconsidering coming to visit me in my country, needed more time to think about it.
On my fifth trip there was more tension in her. I felt so bad. We went to Ayuthaya and had a pretty good time, but there was something missing. I could not put my finger on it. She said she wasn’t sure about staying with me anymore because she wanted good life.
Good Life? I was very confused! I gave her and her family VERY good life. I loved her so much and she knew it. What was the problem? I became upset because I was so frustrated. Our last night together was not good, very stressed.
When I boarded my plane she asked me to call her and let me know I got back OK. I returned and called her but just left a message. She never called me back. For two weeks I tried calling her and emailing and text messaging her, but nothing. Finally, she told me she was OK but finished with me. The Thai Man had come back last month to raise their son and she wanted to try again with him. Now it was my turn to be devastated.
She told me she didn’t like trying so hard to be good wife for me, it was too constraining for her. She liked to party and drink with her many friends, even if it was bad for her (which it was--I paid for her exam and she had Hep B and some liver damage already.) She kept saying I made her “think too much”. What does that mean? She couldn’t explain it to me clearly.
She told me she was very sorry, that I was very good man, but she was very bad woman. She said she wasn't staying with the Thai Man now because she thinks he is still the same. Then she said goodbye and “I am sorry what I do to you.” That was it--the end. That was four weeks ago. I am still trying to recover from this.
She claims she loved me sincerely, but now she doesn’t. I gave her so much, yet she walked away from me so quickly, and I did nothing but try to treat her well. Her parents and fellow villagers, she said, are all sad she has done this and say she is stupid. But her mind seems very made up.
I went to pray several times at a local Wat near me here in the U.S. for her to reconsider, but it feels useless now. I don't expect her to call me again. Now she is very happy and is probably hunting different farang again in Bangkok.
I guess she decided she just didn’t like me enough to try with me. I have never been so hurt in all my life.
I don’t know what I expect from posting here, but I needed another channel to let off some grief. It has been one of the hardest periods of my life ever. I don't know that I can return to Thailand for quite some time now, if ever. I will get over her at some point, but probably never 100%. What a horrible experience with Thai Lady.
She had lived with a Thai man for seven years initially and had a son with him. She loved the Thai Man him very much but he left her and the son to go live with richer woman. The Thai Man never took good care of her, but still she was devastated by the loss. She went to work in Samui based on her mother's recommendation to find good Farang.
In Samui, she met an Austrian man who after 1 year married her but then left her also. She worked for two more years. Then I met her.
I took incredibly good care of her and her family. I loved her like she had never been loved before.
We took the most romantic together. I came back for her birthday and made a party for her whole family. I came back for Valentine’s Day and wined and dined her first class. I spent Songkran with her in the best way in Chiang Mai. We snorkeled off Pi Pi and I herded cows with her father on their farm near Korat.
I bought two copies of Thai Fever, one for her and one for me, and we read through it and discussed together all the time. Her English was quite good. We seemed to have such great communication together. She was my whole world now and I was loving it.
Her 11-year old son called me Pappa and I loved him also. I always had wanted a son, and I had a daughter from a previous marriage and she wanted a daughter. What a fit. She called me her Sami all the time and she was my devoted Palaya.
I gave many *very* generous gifts to her parents. The marriage wasn’t formalized or official yet, but it felt that way to all of us. We discussed Visa to my country, USA. We discussed having another child together. We wanted to eventually build a house near Chiang Mai. I was so unbelievably happy.
Then she started getting nervous she could not make me happy. One day she made something for me to eat in her poor home and I was hesitant to eat it because I wasn’t sure what it was, and she became very upset. She started showing me a lot of insecurities. I tried reassuring her but it didn’t help.
On my fourth trip I was very tired from the travel and I didn’t feel so well. I was a little cranky. This made her very upset also. She took it very personally. She couldn’t seem to keep it in perspective. She said she was reconsidering coming to visit me in my country, needed more time to think about it.
On my fifth trip there was more tension in her. I felt so bad. We went to Ayuthaya and had a pretty good time, but there was something missing. I could not put my finger on it. She said she wasn’t sure about staying with me anymore because she wanted good life.
Good Life? I was very confused! I gave her and her family VERY good life. I loved her so much and she knew it. What was the problem? I became upset because I was so frustrated. Our last night together was not good, very stressed.
When I boarded my plane she asked me to call her and let me know I got back OK. I returned and called her but just left a message. She never called me back. For two weeks I tried calling her and emailing and text messaging her, but nothing. Finally, she told me she was OK but finished with me. The Thai Man had come back last month to raise their son and she wanted to try again with him. Now it was my turn to be devastated.
She told me she didn’t like trying so hard to be good wife for me, it was too constraining for her. She liked to party and drink with her many friends, even if it was bad for her (which it was--I paid for her exam and she had Hep B and some liver damage already.) She kept saying I made her “think too much”. What does that mean? She couldn’t explain it to me clearly.
She told me she was very sorry, that I was very good man, but she was very bad woman. She said she wasn't staying with the Thai Man now because she thinks he is still the same. Then she said goodbye and “I am sorry what I do to you.” That was it--the end. That was four weeks ago. I am still trying to recover from this.
She claims she loved me sincerely, but now she doesn’t. I gave her so much, yet she walked away from me so quickly, and I did nothing but try to treat her well. Her parents and fellow villagers, she said, are all sad she has done this and say she is stupid. But her mind seems very made up.
I went to pray several times at a local Wat near me here in the U.S. for her to reconsider, but it feels useless now. I don't expect her to call me again. Now she is very happy and is probably hunting different farang again in Bangkok.
I guess she decided she just didn’t like me enough to try with me. I have never been so hurt in all my life.
I don’t know what I expect from posting here, but I needed another channel to let off some grief. It has been one of the hardest periods of my life ever. I don't know that I can return to Thailand for quite some time now, if ever. I will get over her at some point, but probably never 100%. What a horrible experience with Thai Lady.