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Discussion of Thai-Western relationships and the book, "Thailand Fever."
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bbigman21
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Joined: Thu Aug 04, 2005 3:19 am

Question

Post by bbigman21 » Thu Aug 04, 2005 5:18 pm

How many of you have had a positive experience with meeting and falling in love with a Thai BG.

NetJam
Posts: 3
Joined: Fri Nov 26, 2004 12:37 pm
Location: San Jose, California USA

Falling in love with a Thai BG

Post by NetJam » Fri Oct 14, 2005 11:24 am

I can truthfully say that I had a positive experience meeting and falling in love with a Thai BG in Bangkok. However, let me hasten to say that this positive experience quickly soured when I found at she was still living with her ex-husband.

Of course, she originally told me she lived alone, was never even married, etc. To her credit, she did admit to having a young child but that she had never married the child's father. The fact that she had a young child did not bother me in the least, because there are single mothers all over the world.

But, I told her many times that I would not tolerate her being unfaithful to me. Shacking up with her ex and lying about it were the "deal killers" for me. If anyone falls in love with a BG and wants to become her "one and only", I advise having a third party verify that she is not doing anything behind your back. You can hire Private Detectives to do this, or if you're lucky, an acquaintance of your GF may be able to clue you in. The former action is expensive and the latter scenario requires that you cultivate the trust and friendship of another person in Thailand who lives close to her -- a person who is more or less independent of the object of your affection.

Of course, you may say, "If I have to be sneaky and check up on her, I don't really trust her in the first place, so maybe she's not for me." That may be true for the majority of these types of relationships, but if someone is hopelessly in love, then I still recommend this verification. If everything appears OK, then maybe you can worry less about her past and concentrate on how she is conducting herself now.

My own experience was this: I felt sneaky and I felt like an idiot when my fears were confirmed, but since I was hell-bent to marry this BG, I am glad that I found out before it was too late. Finding out the truth saved me a lot of heartache (and money) in the long run.

My desire for a good Thai lady was still strong, so I chose another method of meeting a good woman: I joined a legitimate Internet introduction service and wrote to many ladies. After many months of correspondence, I had only one that I wanted to meet in person. I returned to Thailand and met her and had a fabulous time. She is a college graduate and has a good job. In fact, while we were together, she got several job offers, interviewed for one of them, and got the job she wanted. We keep in touch everyday by phone and email. I will see her again as soon as I earn more vacation time.

Of course, I can't predict with 100% certainty that everything will be great between us, but I really increased my chances of success by not choosing a lady who is a BG. It may not be impossible to find a great, loving relationship with a BG, but you have to know that most of us are going to be highly suspicious of just what she is up to when she is on the other side of the world. And suspicion is a mighty weak foundation for any relationship.

OK, I have not told you anything new -- you can read lots of stories just like mine. Of men who have been fooled and otherwise taken advantage by falling in love with a BG. If anyone insists on pursuing such a relationship, then make absolutely sure that you are satisfied that she is being true to you. How you achieve that certainty is easier said than done.
If you can't resolve the issue of trust, the relationship will not be a good one, but instead, it will be a thoroughly distracting and unpleasant experience.

Good luck!

BeenThere_DoneThat
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Joined: Sat Apr 29, 2006 11:25 am

Post by BeenThere_DoneThat » Sat Apr 29, 2006 1:00 pm

Yes, I had a positive experience with a Thai bargirl.
No problem of her of cheating on me or whatsoever.
But unlike many other couples our age difference was in a very sound region (29 me, 24 her).

However, in the end our marriage still ended in divorce.
The reason for it is a very simple, but often overlooked one:
We were too different in communication, views and interests.

So, you should look for a girl with whom you can talk well, feel happy together and also share spare time activities and interests.
Otherwise you will run into troubles on the long, no matter how passionate your relationship started at the time of getting to know each other.

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