Dowry

Discussion of Thai-Western relationships and the book, "Thailand Fever."
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brewsterbudgen
Posts: 2
Joined: Fri Dec 30, 2005 1:15 am
Location: Bangkok

Dowry

Post by brewsterbudgen » Fri Dec 30, 2005 1:23 am

I've bought and read the book and so has my girlfriend. We plan to marry in February in her village near Surin.

She's 22, the only daughter, and has lived away from home in Bangkok since she was 16. I'm 45 and a teacher earning only 33,000 baht a month. I own a property in London worth £200,000 (let out) and have around £10,000 in savings.

I'm confused about how much the dowry and gold should be. The book says it should be negotiated but I won't be meeting her parents until the visit/wedding and I don't speak Thai and they don't speak English. My girlfriend has suggested 200,000 - 300,000 baht (to include the wedding and gifts as well as the dowry). How should the final figure be arrived at?

Thanks.

Gary
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Jan 15, 2006 2:31 am

Post by Gary » Sun Jan 15, 2006 2:53 am

Hi brewster....

I have Thailand Fever and my ex (recent ex) who is Thai has read it also. The question of the amount of the dowry was a frustrating topic for me as well, since no one could even give me a ballpark figure. I'm an English teacher in TH, too (translation: relatively poor), and I'm applying for my first work permit. The wife of the head teacher (she's Thai) and I were talking a couple of days ago, and I broached the subject of dowry with her. This is her reply:

"As soon as you receive your work permit, you'll qualify for a loan from the bank (SCB, in this case) for up to five times your current salary. In your case, this will be about 200,000 baht. In ninety-five percent of all cases, this will be enough for the dowry. With these women, if the parents ask for any more than that, they're just being greedy. Remember, the dowry is supposed to be a symbolic gift, to show your good intentions towards your fiance's family and also to prevent them from losing face before their friends and others. It's not a chance for them to get rich. If they do want to get rich, then find another fiance. Of course, there are the occasional wealthy families who might claim that their daughter is worth much more, especially if she has obtained an advanced degree or has a high position of importance. But remember that, if your fiance truly loves you, she will relay this and your limited means to her family and they will generally make an allowance for you to pay less, especially since your salary is so little compared to the family's wealth. For the majority of Thai families, happiness for the daughter is worth far more than holding out for an expensive dowry."

I hope that helps. :wink:

brewsterbudgen
Posts: 2
Joined: Fri Dec 30, 2005 1:15 am
Location: Bangkok

Dowry

Post by brewsterbudgen » Sun Feb 19, 2006 9:46 pm

Cheers Gary.

The wedding's only a week away and the build-up has not been without difficulty on the subject of the dowry. My financial situation is not great (I'm having problems with my tenant in London and can't currently rely on the rental income from this) and I'm struggling to live the sort of life I want to in Bangkok on my teacher's salary.

Nevertheless I love my girlfriend and want very much to do the right thing for both her and her family. Anyway, I am now paying 100,000 baht for the dowry plus some gold. The whole thing will cost less than 175,000 baht which I am happy with. This goes along with the advice you've received so thanks!

All the best

Gary
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Jan 15, 2006 2:31 am

Post by Gary » Tue Feb 21, 2006 8:21 pm

I'm glad I could be of some help to you, brewsterbudgen. I wish you and your bride the best! 8)

Yenner
Posts: 5
Joined: Sat Apr 15, 2006 9:48 am

Post by Yenner » Sat Apr 15, 2006 10:00 am

When I got married my dowry was...
200,000 baht cash
50,000 baht worth of gold
2 pigs
10 chickens

We got to keep the gold and the cash paid for the wedding party of 700 people. The pigs and chickens were eaten at the party too.

I negotiated with my sister-in-law the amount before meeting the parents. Big sister wanted 600,000 at first.

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