Falling for a Beautiful Thai Lady - Part 1

Discussion of Thai-Western relationships and the book, "Thailand Fever."
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Falling for a Beautiful Thai Lady - Part 1

Post by LasRobos » Fri Sep 23, 2011 3:34 am

It looks like this forum is pretty dead. I have a long story to tell; to long to tell in one sitting. If there is anyone out there and you are reading this, please let me know. Otherwise I will not waste my time by posting more. I am putting this to words to help me better understand what is happening to me, but I am interested in thoughtful, serious comments.

Over the last couple of years I have developed a relationship with a bar girl. It seems crazy. I would have never imagined this could happen to me. But it has and I just want to write out my story to help clarify it in my own head. A lot of the communication between she and I has been in Emails so I will include much of this communication in my story to help the reader understand what has taken place. And I will also try to put the Emails in context. All quotes from Emails will be in bold face.

I am a married man, in my 50’s, in good physical shape, have an excellent education with advanced degrees and have a professional job in the USA with a 6 figure income and job security. I have always loved Asian woman and am currently married to an Asian non-Thai woman.

I work in Bangkok several weeks once each year and have now for several years. Three years ago my marriage of about 6 years started going down the tubes. My wife had betrayed me. I don’t want to reveal the nature of the betrayal. It was not a sexual betrayal, but it was something we had discussed, I made it very clear that certain actions were not acceptable and she agreed. Despite our discussion and her agreement she continued with the same actions.

A little over two years ago, I was in Bangkok once again for my several weeks of work. It was a tremendous temptation to partake of the nightlife especially given the turn my marriage had taken. In the past I have been in Bangkok for work unaccompanied by my wife, yet I never had a problem staying true to my marriage. Several years before my marriage I did enjoy the single life in Asia mainly in the Philippines but also a couple of time in Thailand. But I had been 100% true to my wife until now. It was not easy for me to violate my marriage vows, but this time I did finally succumb to temptation in Bangkok and barfined a couple of bar girls for one night each and enjoyed myself.

I had a long weekend off and thought about going to Pattaya. I had been there about 10 years earlier during my single life and had enjoyed it. So I took off for a long weekend in Pattaya. Now I know what you are thinking about my Pattaya plans. But I was honestly just thinking about enjoying the atmosphere. I love the blaring music, the lights of walking street and just being surrounded by beautiful women. And maybe I will give into temptation again, maybe not.

My first evening out and early on I am immediately attracted to a bar girl. I am not sure why, she is not a classic beauty by any means. But there is an intelligence, maturity, yet a simplicity about her that is an attraction. Her English is not very good but I have spent much time throughout Asia over the years and have found if two people really want to communicate, just a few words of each other’s language along with creative hand signals and facial gestures can go a long way. So we spent a couple of hours playing a bar game, communicating as best we could and enjoying a few drinks. I learn that she is 25 years old and only been in Pattaya a short time. It is believable since her English ability is much less than the average bar girl. I am sorely tempted, but somehow cannot bring myself to bar fine someone again as in Bangkok. Maybe it is because I am not a big drinker. A little more alcohol in me and probably I could not resist the temptation.

I left her behind, wandered around Pattaya a few more hours and went back to sleep alone in my hotel room. Or at least I thought I would sleep. But I could not get this woman out of my mind.

I still have two more nights in Pattaya and the next night I go back to the same bar as soon as it opens and ask her if she would like to be bar fined by me. She has a big smile and answers in the affirmative. Although not extremely shy, she is clearly not very experienced sexually. I take my time with her and she responds well. We have a long, tender, good time in bed, just the way I enjoy it. We really hit it off well both in and outside the bedroom and she stays with me for my remaining 48 hours in Pattaya, both night and day.

On my last day in Pattaya we are sitting in an open air bar just enjoying each other’s company and a view of the ocean. She reveals that she is much older than 25 and is clearly worried that this will bother me. It does not. It just makes her a bit closer to my age! But I am a bit surprised. Not because she does not look her age; I know Asian woman can look very young to us farangs. But she is well past the age that most will work in a bar. And usually if a woman is this old and still working in a bar, they have been doing it for a long time and it shows. The fact she looks so good at this age is one more piece of evidence that she really is new to the bar scene.

Shortly before I need to leave I ask if she would like to stay in contact by Email. She seems interested but is not quite sure about this Email thing. So I take her to an internet café and quickly realize she has never used a computer. So I open an Email account for her and send her an Email from my account. She seems really interested to stay in touch but I quickly realize how stupid I am! If she can only speak a few words of English of course she cannot read or write English! So I write down her Email username and password and give it to her, but I understand this is not likely to work; I will probably never hear from her.

I stayed in Pattaya as long as possible and then finally grabbed a taxi back to Bangkok. Departing from each other was a bit difficult but not heart breaking. Let’s face it we just spent a couple of days together. I did not expect to ever hear from her. Maybe when I come back next year I will check the bar to see if she is still there, but I know it is not likely.

Imagine my surprise when just a few days later I receive an Email from her. Just 3 sentences including:

Hello John,

I miss you. ……….

Miss you so much.


(John and Ning are just made up names.)

I am still working in Bangkok and will be leaving for the U.S. shortly. But I reply with a few sentences:

Hello Ning,

I was so happy to receive your Email. ……….

I am sorry I did not reply sooner. I have been very busy with work and will continue to be very busy with work until I leave. When I get more time I will write you some more.

Take good care of yourself,


A few days later I receive another Email. By now I have left Bangkok. I am very surprised by her communication:

Hello John

How are you? Please take care of yourself ………. Tomorrow I will go to Bangkok. and will come back to work in ……. I think I fall in love with you.

What you think about me? Miss you


Oh oh! What is this? The Love word. I am not sure what to make of this. Can she read and write English after all and is just playing me. Or is a friend of hers writing these Emails for her and together they are playing me. Or is a friend helping her and she is expressing her true feelings no matter how misguided?

I try to believe the best in people until they prove otherwise. So I reply assuming she is not playing games with me as follows:

Hi Ning,

Good to hear from you again. ……….

You think you fall in love! I really do like you and enjoyed my time with you, but I think it is a little too quick to fall in love. What do I think of you? I really do like you and hope to see you again someday.

You should not wait for me. Nothing is likely to happen between us anytime soon. Under my circumstances I am highly unlikely to see you again before next year. So please live your life the best you can without any expectation about me.

I really do hope to see you again. In the meantime I wish you the very best. Take care,


She replies back a few days later:

Hi John

How are you? Now I am well. That you talked with me I understand you. I was happy when I were with you.

You are the first man that I really like. You are kind. I remember everything of you. Maybe I can't good answer but I know I miss you so mcuh. I will wait you and you know I talk real.

Miss you and take care



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Falling for a Beautiful Thai Lady - Part 2

Post by LasRobos » Fri Sep 23, 2011 1:30 pm

One thing I should explain before continuing. I now know that a close friend of Ning is an older lady who has nothing to do with the bar business. This lady is fairly fluent in English and she does most of the translating for Ning. I have since met this lady several times and she is very nice. Occasionally Ning will use someone else when this older lady is not available.

My marriage has continued to deteriorate and certainly it can be said that this would have to happen given my communication with Ning. But I truly believe this is independent. Despite numerous discussions with my wife, she continues to act in ways that are totally unacceptable to me.

Ning and I continue to send Emails back and forth probably averaging about once a week. Although I have left many things out of the Email excerpts I have not changed any of the wordings. I hope by including these many excerpts from her Emails you might get a sense of her frame of mind. She includes many endearing comments in her Emails such as:

I still love and miss you everyday.

I will wait you come back. I really talk that.
I will wait the day you come back.

… and feel shy a bit as i just say misses wwith you because I never say miss with who to easy. And I wann know when you will coming back to Thailand again I will wait you here. Fanally remember I alway miss you, take care you eslf too and dont for get me lol.

I alway waiting you caming here (Thailand) Oop! Do you still have my telephone number? If you come here can you call me pls? I am exited to see you that day. I miss you .and never forget you and I hope you also feeling as same me.
Take care and miss you so much,

Eventually I receive her phone # and we talk. Through Emails and telephone conversations I make sure she understands that I am a married man but I would like to see her when I return next year. But I also told her I cannot promise anything else and I encourage her to not expect anything more from me.

We have now been communicating a couple of months. She has not once even hinted at money from me. I am really starting to think that this lady is being real with me. I really did enjoy her company tremendously, but I do think she is over reacting a bit by falling in love after a weekend together! The Email exchange continues and she continues to include sentiments like the following:

I walk pass hotel that we were together then make me miss you so much.

take care yourself. I miss you everyday.

I am really starting to develop more feelings for this lady and I am a bit worried about her bar life. I know a lot of girls really go downhill quickly once they start working in a bar. Drinking a lot, possibly drugs and bad treatment from some of the men can all be part of the life. So I sent her an Email with the following:

… I also know what kind of work you have to do sometimes. I do not blame you or hold that against you. How can I? I was a customer.
More than anything I hope you will be careful and be safe. Also be very smart about preparing for your future. You never know what the future will bring, but do not live too much for today. It is good to enjoy today, but always be mindful of your future and prepare for it!
Please take good care of yourself,


She replies:

But dont worry about me I alway safe because I well know this is my job and I need to safe my self be cause I have no other choice to do and I need to look after my family. Because I have no education anymore. Nit I still very proud inside that I knowing you are alway concern me. I also miss u but as we know it is very difficult to everything be good more than this. But I alway in my heart I feeling good with you all the time and hope to see you again just one day. Hope to see you on webcam when you have the time to talk.

Take care your self,

The Emails continue including many of these endearments from her:

You know when I was sick I feel miss you to much I wanna you come for take care of me. And I I miss you.

When you come back to Thailand? I waiting you long time. It will be the great day for me. take care i'm worry about you.imiss you somuch

I never forget you still in my heart

It has been over 6 months now and again I express some concern about her work:

I understand why you have to do what you do. But I do hope you are the same warm, sweet, beautiful lady I met last summer.

She replies:

I wait the time you come back. I think that day will special day for me.
ok thank you for you understand me why I have to work. I don't have much education to work good. I don't want to work like this. But I necessary because I have to take care my family.

Before I work salon shop but I can't pay for rent and then I decide to do this work.

By this time we have started exchanging pictures attached to Emails. Here are some of the endearments she includes in her Emails:

how are you ? i hope you no forget me i remember you every day i look your pics every day i miss you . you busy about your jobs ? i understand you. takecare your self

hi darling,
how are you? i miss you so much but understand you .you not forget me ok? me not forget you too . i want say hello you with msn webcam . take care your self i know you busy .you know ? i want you come back in october because birth day my son . if cannot no problem .miss you

I know you are good man. I think you understand Thai lady. I just work in the bar and I not know too much.

It is now getting close to the time I will be returning to work in Bangkok. It is only a couple of months away and we will see each other again. Another Email from Ning:

I am looking forward too seeing you too. I am very excite,. I can't tell you my feeling. But it good feeling. I will wait you.

I asked her about her age again, since she has had a birthday since we first met. She talks about her sister. I later find out it is not a sister but another relative – I believe a cousin. This is the person that introduced Ning to working as a bar girl shortly before I first met Ning.

I am xx now. Do you think I am too old? I think I am old lady. hehe I like that.

I think if I see you I will shy to you. I don't know why. But I feel good and I really like that. Now I am alone because my sister will go to work at Taiwan.

Thank you thar you told me still young. I was glad that you email to me. That person not my real sister. She is my relative. She stayed Pattaya before me and she introduce me worked here.

I have to thank you her because I met you in here.

Thank you for you worry about me and I safe myself too. She will work in Taiwan and I stay alone in Pattaya. I lonely too.

I miss you also. You are adult who I respect and I really like your charactor,

miss you and wait you alway.

And finally I think this is her last Email before we meet again a year after our first encounter.

i think when you come i 'm shy you sure? then this day come back to longggggggggggggggggggggg time hehehehehe. you know it very torment .but i so happy.i want this day is tomorrow .i tired i want to go sleep now and want dream about you.bye darling good nightxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

love you


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Falling in Love with a Beautiful Thai Lady – Part 3

Post by LasRobos » Fri Sep 23, 2011 1:52 pm

It has been a year since I first met Ning. I return to Thailand and go to meet Ning over a weekend. We spend a couple of really good days together in Pattaya and I ask if she would like to return to Bangkok with me. She is thrilled and excited. I explain to her that I will often be gone to work, but I will spend all my time with her outside of work. All told we spend about a week together before I finish work and need to fly back to the USA. We have a really good time together, but this time saying goodbye is quite painful for both of us. Here is her 1st Email after I have left for the USA:

hello John . how are you ? i think you tired? you know i miss you somuch .first day you go you know when you say good bye I want to crying .i think in my heart no cry no cry and i"m not cry. in this night i think all the night about time stay together it special time and good feel from my heart .you know i like you .i want to tell you why i like you ? i can tell you now when you go back home you is a good man i feel warm and safe you is a first man make me feel good .and i don't know why ?but i think you knowbecause you know every thing better than me. i never foget time live together . i know it long time for we see again and i wait same .now i feel very lonely.you told me if have some man like me gave me like him i can like him but my heart not like same if i like one people i like only him .not think for age don't care.

My response to her ends with the following:

I do not know everything better than you! You are a very smart and beautiful young lady.

The life you live can be very dangerous. Please be sure to be very safe, be cautious and take very good care of yourself.

With Very Warm Feelings,



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Falling in Love with a Beautiful Thai Lady – Part 4

Post by LasRobos » Tue Sep 27, 2011 2:07 am

Communication Continues Until We Meet for the Third Time

I have now been with Ning twice now. Once for a couple of days in Pattaya a little over 2 years ago. And once for about a week in Pattaya and Bangkok a little over a year ago. Although I clearly like Ning and have developed feelings for her, I still have not fallen in love. We continue our Email communication and talk on the phone more often over the next year. Here are excerpts from 3 of her Emails:

We are so far away to each other. I still good memory the great time when we were together. hehe it secret.

I know this morning you have to work and you told me very tired. Please take care of yourself. I work and miss you everyday and I think you same me. Thank you for you called to me. Then I sleep. My pillow make me good dream. My pillow name John and another pillow name Johnny. My blanket name Ning. Everything in my bed.

I will go to work and miss you everyday.
Thank you for your picture. You are looking good for me and gentleman for me. I don't want someone look you gentleman because I jealous. You feel warm.

It has been a few months since Ning and I last met. She asks me for money for the first time:

I want to tell you my birthday I would like to disturb you about money . I want to have party at the bar but if I make you not comfortable or feel hard that never mind. When them birthday they had party too. I will order the food outside but I am afraid my money not enough and then I have to disturb you and my son and family will come to Pattaya too. Please let me know if you can or not. I am sorry that I disturb you.

I am not comfortable sending money to Ning but I tell her I am willing to send $100. She seems to detect my discomfort and drops the request. As far as I can tell this does not affect our continued communication and feelings for each other. I made some joke about our age and she responds seriously to the age issue. This is the Email she sends me not long after her birthday:

Hi Honey,

Thank you so much for your wishes but unfortunate when we not celebrate together on my birthday because if you were here so I'll so happy. How are you? Thank you for your nice photo. You are still look very nice same before.

About your question, I don't care about age but I care for only feeling and heart because you know that i like a person who have a good heart and kindness... like you because you are a good person with a good heart but you must to understand me that i have to do so anywhere, it not truth at all but it's my work that i have to do... If you understand me so you will not think too much...

Well, I have some photo to show you... Hope you will like.

Miss you always and have a nice day.

I clearly like this lady. I have never used the “Love” word with her and have continued to tell her the only thing she can ever expect from me is a visit once a year. On the other hand I have continued communications with her and let her know that I miss her and will not forget her. This is a true reflection of my feelings. If I can take her Emails at face value, she clearly has very strong feelings for me. In the following Email she expresses concern about our relationship.

I hope you are well. I miss you everyday and I am well too. Thank you very much that you called to me. I don't know why I like old man. But I like long time. Don't ask me why?! Please tell me how long how year you and me talk but if you can remember I will be happy. I know how the end up. but i like . You told me you miss me and not forget. I hope this is true . I heard Thai lady said be careful the farang lie. I scare a lot. ok. bye bye

I respond to her concerns:

Yes, you should be careful of farang, just like you should be careful of anyone. There are good and bad farang and there are good and bad Thai people.

I do really like you a lot and think about you often. However, I really cannot offer you anything besides I expect to return to Thailand each July/August and I really do love to see you on my trips. It is possible that I might be able to get some business trip more than that to Thailand, but it is not too likely.

Whatever may happen I do hope you will continue to communicate with me. I really do look forward to seeing you this July and I think about our getting together this July often.


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Falling in Love with a Beautiful Thai Lady – Part 5

Post by LasRobos » Wed Sep 28, 2011 7:25 am

We Meet for the Third Time in Two Years

Clarity sets in on my marriage. It is certain now that we will be divorcing. It is just a matter of time until we finish negotiations and the legal process takes place. So far, my wife and I seem to be treating each other fairly. I appreciate this as divorces can get quite mean and nasty. I hope we can continue to avoid the mean and nasty!

I don’t believe I have fallen in love with Ning yet, but the kind of work she does is bothering me. I cannot condemn her; that is not the issue. How can I condemn her for her work? I met her as a customer. But the idea of her with other men as part of her job is bothering me and I cannot do anything about it.

It is getting close to the time when I travel to Thailand for work and Ning and I will meet once again. But one of Ning’s Emails about 3 months before my travels expresses some deep concern:

sometime I am upset also because I scared that you will forget me and sometime when i go out with customer so i love to think many things about myself and you until they love to ask me what wrong with me.

I miss you and I believe that you think of me too but just hope that you will not forget me and we are still keep in touch until we will see each other. I know it will be a long time but I'll wait for you as you know how I feel about you and i think that you are still remember what I told you in the first time...

Take care of yourself. I want you know that I miss you and care for you.

I try to reassure her but probably do not communicate as strongly as I could:

I do think about you often. You are so far away, but I will see you pretty soon, coming up this summer. My contract to work in Thailand has been confirmed, so I will be there for sure.

We continue communicating until we finally meet. I go to Pattaya and spend 3 days there with her. I ask again if she would like to return to Bangkok with me and there is never any question. We spend several weeks together in Bangkok and have a great time together. We eat breakfast together every day. We watched several movies that interest both of us. We visited the different malls and she tells me about the character of each. Earlier in life she had worked at one of the malls in Bangkok not far from the Hard Rock Café.

While in Bangkok I am gone about 25 to 30 hours a week for work. I give her a few thousand baht pocket money so she can easily visit her friends, eat and do a bit of shopping. After just a couple of days in Bangkok I return from work and find she has bought several dresses. The first thought that pops into my head is it has only been a couple of days and she already spent her pocket money! I was relieved when she started trying on the dresses and telling me what she paid for each. 100 baht, 150 baht, 125 baht! I was relieved!

We eat at a variety of restaurants, mostly what I would call midpriced by my standards. She would typically order one of the cheapest Thai foods off the menu while I would order some German, Australian or American food at twice the price or more. She seemed delighted by our dining choices. One of my favorites is Piri Piri Chicken! Just once did we eat at what I would call an expensive restaurant.

Ning really takes care of me. I typically bring shirts that can easily be washed by hand, hang to dry and don’t have to worry about wrinkles. I also wash all my other clothes by hand besides shorts and pants. I send these out. Ning will have none of it. She washed everything herself and then irons the shirts and pants. I get sick for a few days with a lot of congestion and a sore throat. I am sure no one is surprised that Ning does everything possible to take care of me. She makes me hot tea, goes to the pharmacy and explains my symptoms and returns with medicine, makes sure I eat well. I could not ask for a better nurse!

We spend a great deal of time cuddled up in a love seat either watching TV or talking about a variety of topics. I learn more about her family, growing up in Isaan, and her work history up to when she started working in a bar just a couple of years ago. And she learns similar things about me.

I don’t know just when I crossed the line, but I have fallen in love with this beautiful lady. But how can I? She is a bargirl. You don’t fall in love with a bargirl. I tell myself she is different. She is twice the age of many bargirls. She has only worked as a bargirl for a bit more than 2 years; just a small proportion of her life. It does not matter what arguments I make in my mind; I am in love with this lady!


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Final Chapter for Now

Post by LasRobos » Sat Oct 15, 2011 2:34 am

In real life you have to take care of the here and now before you move onto something in the future. As much as my wife and I have already started divorce negotiations, I need to finalize my divorce before I can move on. I know my feelings about Ning and I think Ning knows how I feel. I am sure it comes across in my expressions. I do stay in contact with Ning regularly. We communicate more than ever.

I will finish my divorce proceedings as quickly as I reasonably can. Sometimes I do feel guilty. Am I just divorcing my wife so I can be with someone else? I have to remind myself that my marital relationship has been heading for this divorce for several years; starting before I ever met Ning. I have thought everything through and realize I need to finalize my divorce and move on with my life regardless of what may happen with Ning. There has just been too much water under the bridge with my wife. She is a nice and incredibly beautiful lady, but she has just done too much that is unacceptable and incompatible with my philosophy of life. And it’s not as if we did not discuss these issues. We talked about the issues numerous times over the last 3 years and she continued to ignore my requests. She does not deny this, but she claims it will not happen again. But at my age I am not willing to take another chance. I do not want to wake up in 5 or 10 years and find out I am in the same place again as I am now.

So this is where I am now. I am in the process of breaking up with my wife. I continue to communicate with Ning and I will probably return to see her early; not waiting for the year to pass when I return to Bangkok for work. I am trying to put my feelings on hold for Ning until I take care of the divorce. But it’s hard; this lady has really touched my heart. I never would have imagined that this could happen.

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Post by LasRobos » Sat Oct 15, 2011 2:48 am

You might wonder how I came by this website. Ning recommended that we read Thailand Fever to help both of us understand each other better. I was disappointed to find the book could not be downloaded as a Kindle book so I ordered and had it delivered by snail mail. Through the ordering process I found this website. I did enjoy the book tremendously and I am looking forward to reading it along with Ning the next time we meet.

My story has attracted a number of readers. It is approaching 200 and the first installment of the story was just posted about 3 weeks ago. But there has not been a single comment! Regardless, it has been a useful exercise for me to put what is happening in my life into words. It adds clarity to what I am currently going through. Hopefully my story will start attracting replies in the near future. In the meantime if there are any significant developments in my life I will post an update

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Post by Pete » Fri Feb 10, 2012 3:11 am

Hi LosRobos. I read your whole story, maybe it's a bit long for some people I don't know. But it sounds partly familiar to me. And also quite exceptional.

Because "Ning" is extremely patient. Unless she is cheating on you and waiting to cash, which I think is not the case, you should go for this woman 100% and as soon as possible! You should be so lucky with this woman! Most other serious girls would've given up by now. It's taken too long already, don't let her (and yourself) suffer much longer and have her stay with you. You are now separate from your wife so what the heck!

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Post by LasRobos » Fri Feb 10, 2012 2:00 pm

Pete wrote:You should be so lucky with this woman! Most other serious girls would've given up by now. It's taken too long already, don't let her (and yourself) suffer much longer and have her stay with you. You are now separate from your wife so what the heck!
Hi Pete,

Thanks for reading and leaving a comment - you are the first to leave a comment! Actually my divorce is still not finalized but its well along the way and we have agreed on much of the framework for the divorce. I really hope to have it done within a few months. But honestly it will probably take longer than that to untangle all the financial relationships we have.

I have been back to see Ning a 4th time and everything went just great. She has stopped working in the bar and we are planning to end up together. I hope to move to Thailand within the next couple of years and in the meantime spend a bit more time in Thailand when I can get there. I should probably spend some time to update what is happening between Ning and I. I have clearly fallen hard for this lady and she seems to be very much in love with me.

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Post by DJDominic » Mon Apr 09, 2012 12:50 pm


I enjoyed your story! I was going to go to the gym 30 minutes ago and read it after but once I told myself I was going to "just read the intro" I was in till the end.

For me it's really hard what to think of this situation because I have (like you and many others have I'm sure) read of so many horror stories. But in my mind the main and most important thing that separates you from these other stories is that you have not been providing for her financially over the years. That obviously says something.

Your story really grabs my attention because I am in a similar position. Although I am 25 years old, I have been maintaining contact with a Thai bar girl for the past year, have seen her multiple times, and have never once provided money for her (not even the first time we met). Plus she also knows that I don't have any significant income but she is not bothered by it. I know that you have hardly had any replies but maybe I'll post my story later as well! :D

But I am very much interested in how your relationship all turns out. I realize your divorce might not even have been finalized yet or may have been just recently, so you have a lot of future to look forward to with Ning, but please keep us updated here on this forum. My account is set so that I receive an email every time someone posts on this thread.

Best of luck!

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Post by LasRobos » Wed Apr 11, 2012 12:32 pm

DJDominic wrote:LasRobos,

But in my mind the main and most important thing that separates you from these other stories is that you have not been providing for her financially over the years. That obviously says something.

Your story really grabs my attention because I am in a similar position.
Best of luck!

Thanks for the reply. As you can tell there have been very few replies.

The same thing impressed me about Ning. For more than 2 years she only asked for a bit of money once. And then when I did not provide any money it did not impact our relationship at all. I don't think a woman just playing a game can last that long without trying to pry money out of a farang!

I don't really have a lot to add at this point. Everything is progressing slowly but well. The divorce is getting closer to finished and Ning and I are communicating more than ever. I am hoping to go back to Thailand for at least a couple of months this summer. And I am hoping to relocate to Thailand or at least SE Asia in less than a couple of years.

Best of luck with your situation. At your young age I would move very slowly.

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Post by DJDominic » Wed Apr 11, 2012 12:41 pm

LasRobos wrote:And I am hoping to relocate to Thailand or at least SE Asia in less than a couple of years.

Best of luck with your situation. At your young age I would move very slowly.
Just curious, are you planning on retiring in Thailand or continuing work?

As for me, not to worry, I don't plan on settling down until I'm at least well into my 30's (if ever).

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Post by LasRobos » Thu Apr 12, 2012 8:30 am


Just curious, are you planning on retiring in Thailand or continuing work?


I have a few possibilities. One is obtaining a job in SE Asia. This is very possible but it would probably not be in Thailand although just a short airflight away. I actually would have no problem obtaining a job in SE Asia or Thailand, but it is more difficult to get one paying a western-sized salary and it would have to be with western-sized salary to make it worth my while. This is a distinct possibility and I have had inquiries of interest from employers even though I have not yet actively looked.

A second possibility is to kind of retire and move to Thailand but work part-time. Fortunately my skills are in demand and I already do contract work for a few weeks at a time in SE Asia. I would continue to do that but give up my full-time job back in the U.S. I probably have saved enough through various tax-sheltered retirement vehicles to retire to Thailand comfortably. But I am pretty conservative financially and would like to build up a bigger nest egg before I give up work completely. I do look forward to retiring from full-time work, but to continue working part-time for another 10 years or so would be enjoyable.

In any case, I plan to move to Thailand or at least SE Asia within 2 1/2 years at the latest. And if it should be SE Asia (but not Thailand) then I would plan to relocate to Thailand within 5 years of my move to SE Asia.

I have made it sound more complicated than it is. The second possibility is probably the most likely. But if I could nail down a good job in SE Asia I would jump on that for a few years.

Best of luck!

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Post by Beamer » Mon Feb 25, 2013 4:17 am

LasRobos, thank you for posting your story. I find it very interesting. I suspect that you have not had many replies because most who read it simply don't know what to say. They probably read it as though it was a novel or movie, and they are wondering what will happen next. Also, as you yourself said, these forums aren't exactly bustling with activity!

I find your story particularly interesting because Ning has not persistently requested money from you. I have read plenty of horror stories, as we all surely have, about men falling in love with bar girls who then try to drain their bank accounts. The fact that she has only asked for a small amount of money once in several years leads me to believe that her feelings are true. As others said, don't let the opportunity slip by, go get her! I know it has been almost a year since the last post in this thread, but I hope things are going well and I wish you the best of luck!

And since this is my first post here, just a quick blurb about me: I am an American who has been married to a Thai lady for almost 7 years now. It has been quite an adventure, and I cannot imagine ever again dating a "boring white chick." Sadly, our marriage has been in pretty rough shape for the last few years. We are now talking about divorce, though we have not officially started the process. I only recently learned of the book Thailand Fever, and just read it yesterday and today. I can see that some things in there apply to me, and some don't. I think most of our problems aren't related to cultural issues. Hmm, actually, I think I will start a new topic to describe my situation and give my comments on the book.

Again, I hope things work out for you!

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