Understanding Thai Attitudes

[gazz]

Hi
I have joined this site in the hope I can see some feedback on understanding my Thai Fiancee. We get on well but I seek to understand more. She tells me it is "shame" for a Thai girl to say " I love you" although she does at times. She is university educated and I have visited her and her family twice now & we have all had a wonderful time together. I read Thailand Fever & found it very useful. I discovered very quickly she doesn't like to talk about the future much as if she doesn't beleive I really love her or that I won't just go away.

This has improved as i am going back to spend a month with her next month. I put it down to cultural differences that she often doesn't show her emotions , I guess it's down to " face" Anyway, any positive advice or feedback would be appreciated.

Thanks,

Gary

[Chris Pirazzi]

She tells me it is "shame" for a Thai girl to say " I love you" although she does at times.

Hmm, does she mean it's a 'shame' to say that in public
or even when you two are alone? If the former, it could
be a simple modesty issue (as could be the issue of
holding hands in public or even walking close together).
When you ask her why, what does she say?

Not sure about the resistance towards talking about
the future. Some examples of what you mean might help.
In some cases, e.g. the kinds of budget, financial planning,
etc. that a typical Western couple will do instinctively
might be considered a "headache" by some Thais,
who have a more fatalistic (positive connotation)
or haphazard (negative connotation, same action!)
view of the future! Or even discussion about what
could happen in the future as far as living together,
having children, etc.

That's my first take anyway. Kun Vitida may have a
different perspective and I will also make sure she
checks out your post.

[gazzagain]

Thanks for your reply Chris. In retrospect , she was the first to say I love you to me. I think she meant it was shame to be the first to say it. She says I love you to me often now. We are in daily phone contact & chat.
In August we were engaged in the family home in Bangkok. Probably the happiest day in my life, I think Thai people do it so much better than Westerners. We had the monks and had prayers.

As far as the future issue , her most common expression is "take it easy" and she has told me now that she doesn't like organising things because her family sometimes say she's stupid and her nephew at home or her work friends organise most things. I now enjoy organising what I can for her and the loveliest thing is in stark contrast to many westerners, she lets me be the man and treat her like a lady.

Also I have realised that although she has lived in Bangkok 10 years , she's still a North eastern girl and in one of the liveliest cities in the world, many of them still live as they did in their hometown.

Anyway, now to figure out where I get the sinsod , lol .

Thanks again for the feedback.

Gary

[Guest]

now to figure out where I get the sinsod

wow, I don't envy you that one

best to stick to divorcees, LOL

[bdw]

my GF has a similar attitude, doesn't want to get serious, but yet recently introduced me to her Father

after reading Thailand Fever I was in shock, expecting requests from financial support from her Father soon

my GF shocked me for the first time when she said that she expected any man to support her fully (financially) to be with her

been thru some rough times where she stayed by me, but never let up on asking me to buy this or that

just a little confused right now