Thailand Fever reviewed in "All About Thailand"
Posted: Mon Jan 10, 2005 12:50 pm
This one from the "All About Thailand" board at Paknam Web
(thailandguidebook.com):
http://www.thailandguidebook.com/cgi-bi ... 5916&&st=0
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just read the review right here:
I just read the book today. It only takes about an hour to read the whole thing, cover to cover, mainly because half of it is Thai, and it says the same thing. It also helps if you are familiar with most of the topics already.
When I first saw the picture of the Thai girl on the cover, along with the title Thai Fever, I immediately thought "Oh no, yet another fic book on the beaten theme of 'gullible-Farang-jerk-meets-innocent-bargirl'. But, as the saying goes "don't judge the book by its cover", so I read further, and boy, I'm glad I did!
Essentially, the purpose of the book is to bridge the huge gap between Western and Thai ways of life - but only in the scope of Farang man-Thai woman relationships. The authors quickly acknowledge this limitation, with the appropriate disclaimer that readers who expect a treatise on general Thai culture, or a guide to Farang-Thai interaction at the workplace, should look elsewhere. One point for honesty!
Before they dwell into the topics, the authors also define what they mean by "Western" and "Thai". They came up with an oversimplified definition (they lump all whites, African Americans men and women etc. together, based on social norms. However, Italian family values greatly differ from American ones, for instance), but again, they acknowledge the limitation and give good reasons. (Read the book to find out what those are. ) Rather than striving for political correctness, they came up with something practical that works for the intended purpose. One point for practicality.
Another plus about the book is its down-to-earth, informal tone. The authors maintain the feeling as if they were sitting with you in the living room, chatting. This makes any awkward topic much more manageable, not to mention that it is actually fun to read! More about this later.
So far, nothing new under the sun. I've read books that deal with the hardships of Thai-Farang relationships and they went more or less the same route. What make this book stand out from the crowd are its unique innovations that are not just there for the sake of being different, but really do help. In fact, I wonder why previous authors did not think of them sooner.
Previously I mentioned the conversational tone of the book. This is further enhanced when the two authors make a clear distinction about whom they are addressing the moment - just like a real conversation. Chris, the Farang expat living in Thailand, talks to us, the Farang men. He explains why Thais think and behave as they do, and gives advices how to manage possible problems. Meanwhile Vitida, the Thai woman, a university graduate and successful businessperson in the US, pulls Thai female readers over, and talks with them in a "sister-to-sister" manner. She tells them why their Western hubby occasionally behaves strangely, what irritates him about Thai ways, and what she can do to help him fit in more. And then there are occasions when both authors talk to the couple. They use the international signs for male and female at the beginning of each paragraph to let readers know who's talking to whom.
This system has many advantages. First of all, it breaks down part of the communication barrier that is inherent when communication is done through books. It also generates trust in the readers. Many men would be uncomfortable accepting advice to their private lives from a Thai woman, and conversely, Thai women would take the advice of a Farang man with a huge grain of salt. Furthermore, both authors are in the position of understanding the values of the other culture, while at the same time know how to convey those ideas to their own folks effectively.
Another advantage of the book is its bilingual structure. Unlike other bilingual books, the translation is not after each chapter, but page-by-page. The left page is written in English; the right page is written in Thai. While the authors could easily set it up in a way that Khun Vitida advises the female readers in Thai, and Chris advises the male readers in English, the current way is much better. Both authors' words are translated to both languages. This creates an atmosphere of trust and honesty, and allows a unique insight into the other side's point of view. In a sense, it serves as a mirror of yourself - through the filter of another culture. While this may have been an unintended side effect, I found this aspect of the book the most useful.
The actual content of the book holds few surprises. In the first few chapters the authors establish the basics of each culture. They stress important Western ideas that may seem strange in Thai context, and emphasize Thai values that are essential to maintain the fabric of Thai society, yet seem strange from the Western mindset. They address independence, privacy, fairness, equality, openness and what they mean to the Western man. They explain น้ำใจ, สำนุกบุญคุณ , ความกตัญญู , ดื้อเงียบ and why these values are integral to Thai life.
In the later chapters, they take these explanations and apply them to different aspects of Thai-Western romantic relationships such as courting, dating, meeting the parents, engagement, marriage, sex, living with the family etc. They expose potential pitfalls and offer practical ways of dealing with them.
Overall, I found the book useful and entertaining - perhaps the best in its category. It is a practical, honest approach to the problems of intercultural relationships, with a set of unique and innovative ideas that set a new standard in the genre.
Who is the intended audience? The book mostly benefits Thai-Western couples (Thai female and western male to be specific). However, learners of Thai culture may also find it as a useful reference source. Even if you are a Westerner who doesn't have the intention of getting romantically involved with Thais (rare breed, welcome! ^_^ ), this book may serve as a handbook for interpreting the behavior of Thais towards you, and their expectations about you. The advices found therein may help you to get along with Thais better. Last, but not least, if you ever played with the idea of a cross-cultural marriage, this book serves as a good reality check. "This is what awaits you, this is what you need to give - are you ready for it?" (I'm not.)
Nothing is perfect. This book has its faults too. Well, from my point of view, anyway. It makes me feel uneasy how they address some of Thailand's problems - rather insensitively, IMO. They openly admit that the book was, at least partly, designed to help bargirls and their lousy clientele, as well as the losers who just come here to find a wife. Rather than denouncing this vice of Thailand, they seem to actively promote it. There are specific sections on how to get it on with bargirls, and, if it gets serious, how to get around the problem of introducing them to the family. Here is what the authors say about the intended Western audience:
Quote
Is one of these you?
-You came to Thailand to travel or work, but to your surprise you’ve found love – you’re feeling wonderful, but a bit confused and overwhelmed, as the Thai world swirls around you. Everything seems almost too good to be true.
-You’ve had trouble finding lasting relationships at home. Maybe you are shy, or divorced, or older, or you think you are fat – doesn’t matter. For whatever reason, it seems like Thailand is a great place to find your soul mate. Perhaps you’ve heard that “the Thai women over there know how to treat a man,” or that “looks don’t count there like they do back home.”
-You came to Thailand to hang out with bar girls for a few weeks, but suddenly you find that you are both considering a longer-term connection.
I find it repulsive that the authors cater to those in the last two categories. Their message seems to be "Come here, you can do it - there may be problems, but we show you how you can get around them and have a good time". This is the last thing Thailand needs more of - social inept losers and sex-tourist jerks. The authors do a big disservice to Thailand and to the normal Farang expats by promoting such activities over here. We have enough problems putting up with our bad reputation as it is already. But I understand the motives. Increasing the target audience will undoubtedly increase the profit.
At the end, despite its flaw, it is still a great book. If you think about marriage, get this book. If you want to understand the Thai paradigm better, get it. If you are married already, and want to understand your spouse better, get it. If you are a sex-tourist or an antisocial freak, get lost.
(thailandguidebook.com):
http://www.thailandguidebook.com/cgi-bi ... 5916&&st=0
To view this board you must register and log in (free), or you can
just read the review right here:
I just read the book today. It only takes about an hour to read the whole thing, cover to cover, mainly because half of it is Thai, and it says the same thing. It also helps if you are familiar with most of the topics already.
When I first saw the picture of the Thai girl on the cover, along with the title Thai Fever, I immediately thought "Oh no, yet another fic book on the beaten theme of 'gullible-Farang-jerk-meets-innocent-bargirl'. But, as the saying goes "don't judge the book by its cover", so I read further, and boy, I'm glad I did!
Essentially, the purpose of the book is to bridge the huge gap between Western and Thai ways of life - but only in the scope of Farang man-Thai woman relationships. The authors quickly acknowledge this limitation, with the appropriate disclaimer that readers who expect a treatise on general Thai culture, or a guide to Farang-Thai interaction at the workplace, should look elsewhere. One point for honesty!
Before they dwell into the topics, the authors also define what they mean by "Western" and "Thai". They came up with an oversimplified definition (they lump all whites, African Americans men and women etc. together, based on social norms. However, Italian family values greatly differ from American ones, for instance), but again, they acknowledge the limitation and give good reasons. (Read the book to find out what those are. ) Rather than striving for political correctness, they came up with something practical that works for the intended purpose. One point for practicality.
Another plus about the book is its down-to-earth, informal tone. The authors maintain the feeling as if they were sitting with you in the living room, chatting. This makes any awkward topic much more manageable, not to mention that it is actually fun to read! More about this later.
So far, nothing new under the sun. I've read books that deal with the hardships of Thai-Farang relationships and they went more or less the same route. What make this book stand out from the crowd are its unique innovations that are not just there for the sake of being different, but really do help. In fact, I wonder why previous authors did not think of them sooner.
Previously I mentioned the conversational tone of the book. This is further enhanced when the two authors make a clear distinction about whom they are addressing the moment - just like a real conversation. Chris, the Farang expat living in Thailand, talks to us, the Farang men. He explains why Thais think and behave as they do, and gives advices how to manage possible problems. Meanwhile Vitida, the Thai woman, a university graduate and successful businessperson in the US, pulls Thai female readers over, and talks with them in a "sister-to-sister" manner. She tells them why their Western hubby occasionally behaves strangely, what irritates him about Thai ways, and what she can do to help him fit in more. And then there are occasions when both authors talk to the couple. They use the international signs for male and female at the beginning of each paragraph to let readers know who's talking to whom.
This system has many advantages. First of all, it breaks down part of the communication barrier that is inherent when communication is done through books. It also generates trust in the readers. Many men would be uncomfortable accepting advice to their private lives from a Thai woman, and conversely, Thai women would take the advice of a Farang man with a huge grain of salt. Furthermore, both authors are in the position of understanding the values of the other culture, while at the same time know how to convey those ideas to their own folks effectively.
Another advantage of the book is its bilingual structure. Unlike other bilingual books, the translation is not after each chapter, but page-by-page. The left page is written in English; the right page is written in Thai. While the authors could easily set it up in a way that Khun Vitida advises the female readers in Thai, and Chris advises the male readers in English, the current way is much better. Both authors' words are translated to both languages. This creates an atmosphere of trust and honesty, and allows a unique insight into the other side's point of view. In a sense, it serves as a mirror of yourself - through the filter of another culture. While this may have been an unintended side effect, I found this aspect of the book the most useful.
The actual content of the book holds few surprises. In the first few chapters the authors establish the basics of each culture. They stress important Western ideas that may seem strange in Thai context, and emphasize Thai values that are essential to maintain the fabric of Thai society, yet seem strange from the Western mindset. They address independence, privacy, fairness, equality, openness and what they mean to the Western man. They explain น้ำใจ, สำนุกบุญคุณ , ความกตัญญู , ดื้อเงียบ and why these values are integral to Thai life.
In the later chapters, they take these explanations and apply them to different aspects of Thai-Western romantic relationships such as courting, dating, meeting the parents, engagement, marriage, sex, living with the family etc. They expose potential pitfalls and offer practical ways of dealing with them.
Overall, I found the book useful and entertaining - perhaps the best in its category. It is a practical, honest approach to the problems of intercultural relationships, with a set of unique and innovative ideas that set a new standard in the genre.
Who is the intended audience? The book mostly benefits Thai-Western couples (Thai female and western male to be specific). However, learners of Thai culture may also find it as a useful reference source. Even if you are a Westerner who doesn't have the intention of getting romantically involved with Thais (rare breed, welcome! ^_^ ), this book may serve as a handbook for interpreting the behavior of Thais towards you, and their expectations about you. The advices found therein may help you to get along with Thais better. Last, but not least, if you ever played with the idea of a cross-cultural marriage, this book serves as a good reality check. "This is what awaits you, this is what you need to give - are you ready for it?" (I'm not.)
Nothing is perfect. This book has its faults too. Well, from my point of view, anyway. It makes me feel uneasy how they address some of Thailand's problems - rather insensitively, IMO. They openly admit that the book was, at least partly, designed to help bargirls and their lousy clientele, as well as the losers who just come here to find a wife. Rather than denouncing this vice of Thailand, they seem to actively promote it. There are specific sections on how to get it on with bargirls, and, if it gets serious, how to get around the problem of introducing them to the family. Here is what the authors say about the intended Western audience:
Quote
Is one of these you?
-You came to Thailand to travel or work, but to your surprise you’ve found love – you’re feeling wonderful, but a bit confused and overwhelmed, as the Thai world swirls around you. Everything seems almost too good to be true.
-You’ve had trouble finding lasting relationships at home. Maybe you are shy, or divorced, or older, or you think you are fat – doesn’t matter. For whatever reason, it seems like Thailand is a great place to find your soul mate. Perhaps you’ve heard that “the Thai women over there know how to treat a man,” or that “looks don’t count there like they do back home.”
-You came to Thailand to hang out with bar girls for a few weeks, but suddenly you find that you are both considering a longer-term connection.
I find it repulsive that the authors cater to those in the last two categories. Their message seems to be "Come here, you can do it - there may be problems, but we show you how you can get around them and have a good time". This is the last thing Thailand needs more of - social inept losers and sex-tourist jerks. The authors do a big disservice to Thailand and to the normal Farang expats by promoting such activities over here. We have enough problems putting up with our bad reputation as it is already. But I understand the motives. Increasing the target audience will undoubtedly increase the profit.
At the end, despite its flaw, it is still a great book. If you think about marriage, get this book. If you want to understand the Thai paradigm better, get it. If you are married already, and want to understand your spouse better, get it. If you are a sex-tourist or an antisocial freak, get lost.