Thanks for the great book it's helped me understand the issues I've had.
I hope someone can give some advice.
I met my Thai BG about 6 weeks ago we got along fine I contined to see her and pay her sometimes(I didn't understand Naam Jai)she partly moved in some of her clothes and we continued to go to her bar, movies etc. It started to fall apart strange drunken text messages late in the morning I now relise why these were caused from lack of naam jai. I did buy her some things and would take her to the expensive shops she would refuse and say" to expensive" she would buy much cheaper items, I gave very little cash about 8k during that time. She started to call me tilac and looked after me in the Thai girl way. She asked me to buy her mother a gold bracelet I was suspicious I did it anyway 15K I also bought a ring for her she seemed rapped and mentioned no one had bought a ring before.
She started to pull away a little we stayed in contact everyday via sms always messages of 'hope youre safe and be safe'
She came by one morning and gathered her belongings crying and upset she wouldn't talk about it. She said that her previous customer before me was in love with her and wanted to take her to HK to live. She had sold the gold I'd bought. I was very shocked that she moved out anyway she went home to Udon a few days later and called me everyday, she was very happy to be home and was chatty and interested in what I was doing I was very happy I new that I'd fallen in love and would do anything for her.
I've got to know the Farang/Thai bar owner. They've invited me several times to where they all live to eat and drink.
I called her in Udon and to my surprise she said she was heading back to the bar I asked about her BF from HK and did he know, she said she didn't want to talk about it. The day she arrived back at her room in Phuket she sounded miserable. We stayed in contact via SMS while I was in BKK for 3 days. I went to see her 4 days ago. During that time I got drunk at her bar and told her close friend that I loved her wanted to marry and live in the country with her. The next day we had fun in the bar and her friend told me that Tarn loved me. I started to show naam jai during those four days I bought her a watch 1500baht and she asked for 10000baht for rubber trees. She started to come around and asked me if I was happy "yes I was" and asked her the same question she replied "Yes"
Yesterday she rang her mother who said that she wanted to buy land for her I said how much she wasn't sure. We said good by I asked her how she felt about me she said she wanted to be friends and that she would continue working at the bar until next year when she would move to HK.
I know I've come on to strong and have to back off. Is the land purchase another test of my naam jai? How much is a Rai of land worth in country Udon I find it hard to believe that there's BF in HK I've checked her phone. The story doesn't add up maybe she's just being polite to get rid of me. Maybe she has a Thai BF behind the scenes!!
Any help or thoughts would be appreciated.
I am 39 and she's 32 her father is an alcoholic and he's not spoken about she tells me she has no children.
Discussion of Thai-Western relationships and the book, "Thailand Fever."
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